Thursday, May 6, 2010
Inspiration not Asphyxiation
There are many ways to be inspired. I'm sitting here right now - knowing all the things I should do - write that script, go to the gym, do that proposal, fold the Mt Kosciusko of a clothes pile in my bathroom, send in my son's high school application blah, blah, blah. I know I WANT to have these things done. I'm just finding it hard to motivate myself to do them.
Okay - let's go through my list. Write the script. Peter Helier has a movie out this week called "I Love You Too". He inspires me. He started writing this script 8years ago. Now I don't want to wait that long. So I will take his 8 and raise him 1 but I'm devouring his tips and day dreaming my little (well not so little as I can't motivate myself to get it to the gym) butt off. Day dreaming is easy. Day doing is so much harder.... so I'll download some new music. And get my ass into gear....Will finish this blog, go to the gym and then work on the script.
That's 2 down, 17,000,000 tasks to go. I won't bore you with the rest of the list - but let's just say I have to answer to my boyfriend tonight as he's coming over for a lamb roast (just another task on my list but not a biggie - I like cooking) and he is inspiring. Now this is very different to being a tyrant. I've tried dating them. They don't work. I used to have a boyfriend who would poke me in the back to correct my posture all the time. He told me I would look thinner if I stood up straighter. Apart from being excruciatingly embarrassing, I bruise easily and a purple and white spotted spine doesn't look so hot in a bikini, as you can probably imagine. His comments about my weight also discouraged any body sculpting exercise or diet programme. I was either too thin or a bit moon faced when I was with him - the in-between phase obviously appearing during one of our many "breaks".
People either make you feel good about yourself or they don't. S does. We talk about everything (my avoidance tactics don't wash with him) and he seems to get the little idiosyncrasies of my personality and he motivates me in ways that others have failed to do dismally. He uses humour and intelligence to get my competitive and creative blood flowing. But most of all - he leads by example and is just a great guy who supports and loves me for me - but doesn't let me get away with being slack. Plus, I want to go to the gym cause S makes me feel sexy, therefore I want be sexy. Simple really!
A girl I used to work with was getting married a few years ago and I remember her telling me a conversation she had with her fiance. She told him that she loved how he "made her want to be a better person". Apparently he shook his head and said "No I don't ----, I make you want to be you". Now how much more motivating is that than someone who keeps moving the goal post and basically saying "I will love you when... or "I will marry you when you do this..." or even worse "I will have sex with you when....."
We are all fragile beings, and so hard on ourselves. This been said - choose your partners and your friends wisely. Those people that you constantly find yourself defending with words like "but she means well" or "he doesn't mean to put me down" really are not doing you any good. There are so many amazing people to meet and know in this life. If you have to take an honest look at your friendships and reevaluate then sometimes you just have to do that.
A few years ago I decided that I was only going to have people in my life that let me breathe - that make me happy and motivated but remain true and real. I can honestly say I have done this. There is no one in my life who is "toxic" anymore. I have the most inspiring girl friends. Incredible mothers, career women, creative beings, stylish, intelligent, fascinating creatures and so beautiful inside and out. In small and huge ways they motivate me every day through the way they live their own lives. They are also so genuine and true in their encouragement and support of me.
It's hard to be inspired or motivated when you are tired or down, I know. It's also hard to be inspired when someone tells you to be. I know I can be incredibly annoying if I've had a glass or two of wine and I get all excited about something and want to spread the love. Luckily I have such divine friends that I know a slight eye roll to the left tells me to "shut the *&^% up as Lucy here who is not a friend of yours but mine wants to kill you"> That's about when I go home, secretly hoping that at least Lucy will think about something I said but really knowing that the overall memory will be of an over excited drunk girl.
My friends know that this comes from a place in me that wants everyone to be happy and to embrace life. They also know though that people have to find their own little Michelle-From-The-Biggest-Loser in their own heads.
Nature, friends, family, Australian Story, movies, song lyrics, children's honesty whatever they are - try to bottle them and take it down like medicine when you need to. With a spoon full of sugar - not a poke in the back.
Posted by Janie Bentley at 12:20 PM